Blame Shifters

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There is something that I will never understand, why people insist on blaming others for their fuck ups, I know taking responsibility is a hard thing, but sometimes you have to man or woman up and admit you are the one that screwed it up.

I was reading about how to deal with blame shifters, as my boss is the king of blame shifting. I mean if there was an award for it he would win it every year. Honestly, I don’t do well with people who want to project their incompetence on other people, especially me. If you want me to have any modicum of respect for you than you need to accept responsibility for your own actions as well as your inactions.

Blaming others for what you muck up only serves to frustrate them and if that person is anything like me, they will come out swinging.

Last week my boss blamed me because the cost of an airline ticket went up, but get this. When I pulled the flight information gave it to him, he says: “Okay, let me think about it and I’ll let you know tomorrow.’ Alrighty then. Tomorrow comes and I do my due diligence and double-check to make sure the flight is still available and the cost is still the same. Well, well, well lo and behold the flight is still available, but it’s gone up over a $100. I advise him of this and all of sudden it’s my fault because he decided to wait.

Welp. Naw sir. If I’m not mistaken I didn’t tell you to wait and think it over. I asked if you wanted me to book it and you sir made the decision to think it over. As if you’re not going to get reimbursed for it anyway.

And that’s the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

We get in yelling and shouting matches a lot because of his blame shifting ways and I’m not going to be anyone’s scapegoat. Sorry, but you might want to find another pawn for game.

Anyway, as I was reading about blame shifters it was confirmed that they are insecure and that when they feel they don’t have control of a situation they turn around and place the blame on the closest person to them; thereby giving them a false sense of control. They are also afraid of the repercussions that owning up to their part will bring — if any, therefore they shift the blame. Blame shifters apparently haven’t learned how to effectively deal with accepting responsibility. Blame shifters are narcissistic, ego-centric, think they’re flawless or as I like to say — they think their shit don’t stink, and will not under any circumstances let you or anyone else tell them they are at fault.

I deal with this on a daily basis and fight on a daily basis not to wrap my hands around his neck and wring it like a chicken’s. How do these people survive? How have they survived? When will they learn to take responsibility for their actions and/or inactions? How do you keep your sanity when dealing with Blame Shifters?

13 thoughts on “Blame Shifters”

  1. Pingback: Picks Of The Week #42 | A Momma's View

  2. Oh my! What a pathetic boss. It seems he hibernates at home and when in public the world becomes his stage. There is no reasoning with stupid. He maybe chronologically older but cognitively defunct. I dealt with one of those and people like him can’t handle the truth. I wouldn’t be surprised if he fears you.

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  3. I basically go with

    “Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.”

    I keep records of everything, and they know it. If they try to hit me with a problem they created I can prove it wasn’t my fault. In this case, I would have sent him an email with delivery and read notifications on, that way I can prove they received it, and if they read it. I have one boss who rarely reads any emails, he has over a thousand unread. But, I have proof he received it.

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    • My boss never reads my emails either. It’s incredibly frustrating when he comes back to me asking me a question and I tell him I sent him the email. There was one time I sent him at least four emails requesting information and even verbally asked him and never got a response. Then he gets upset because he doesn’t have what he needs. Well sir, if you answered any one of the four emails or answered me when I cornered you in your office about it you would have what you need.

      I document everything too because he’s the type that either doesn’t remember or is quick to say I didn’t say that or that’s not what I wanted.

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  4. I used to be one of those people, when I was 6. Bad times for me, I was stuck on Barbies, juicy juice and Barney.

    It brings back memories. As for grown adults that do it, I don’t know man. I was out of it and thought of it as stupid by 8 so…

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    • I used to be that way to, but then again I think all children are that way and as they grow and mature and learn life lessons they stop blame shifting. When I used to pass the buck and my parents found out about, I would get punished and my parents would say this wouldn’t have happened if you owned up to it in the beginning. I learned that blame shifting only keeps in the clear for so long and when it comes back around it really bites you in the butt.

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      • Thanks Amanda, I’m sure things will work out. I’ve already had a conversation with his boss and we’re trying to work something out, so hopefully it won’t be for much longer. I think the other part that gets under my skin is that when he tries to put the blame on me he’s very disrespectful and degrading, which I will have no part of and tell him straight to his face.

        There was this one time, I told him if he wasn’t going to listen and let me talk than I had nothing further to say to him and I turned around and walked away. Later he came to me to ask me about what I was trying to tell him earlier and I told him if he had listened and let me talk he would have had his answer. When I had gotten back to my desk I put what I needed to say in an email and by the way he didn’t read the email either.

        He also wins for the Ass of the day, week, month, and year award. 🙂

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  5. I guess it’s common human sense. We blame our faults on others. We feel as if we aren’t responsible for any wrongdoing caused by ourselves. If someone gave you a bad piece of advice and you followed it, would it be your fault?

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    • I think blaming others for your mistakes is not something an adult raising a family should do. I don’t know for me it’s to much work to blame someone else rather than say okay I messed up and work towards making it a learning experience, but then again I’m all about my own personal growth.

      And of course if someone gave me flawed advice it would definitely be their fault that I did what they said. 🙂

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      • Yes that’s true. I guess it’s better to admit that you made a mistake and keep moving on. We can’t dwell on our failures.

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