Dating Sucks

Update: The link no longer words, so I’m posting it in its entirety.

I had the pleasure of Guest Posting for HarsH ReaLiTy back in April and this is one of the posts I did.

Oh my gosh, how I loathe going out on dates, especially first dates. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who wishes they could bypass the awkward first date.

My date and I settle down into a semi-comfortable state. A glass of wine in hand. I personally wanted to tell the waiter to leave the bottle. I had a feeling I might need it and I did, along with an ice pick to stab myself in the ears. Yep it was pretty brutal. But who knows he might have been thinking the same thing too.

Nice guy, not bad-looking, smart, and a decent job. So, what was wrong? Not too much other than he has the personality of a box of rocks and the fact that by the end of the evening I knew more about his ex than him.

Hi Jennifer, I’m glad to hear that you decided to leave you’re job as a pharmacist and go to culinary school. I wish you luck in becoming a personal chef when you’re done. Oh yeah and apparently you’re chihuahua, Bobo, misses you.

I could go on and on about Jennifer, Jenny, Jen; but I can’t really tell you a damn thing about this guy other than he doesn’t work to far from me, he grew up in Florida, he likes Country music (I’m not a fan of Country, but that’s okay), and he thinks pizza is a well-balanced meal — now we’re making progress, but beyond that I got nothin’.

I know first dates are the worst and set ups through mutual acquaintances can be worse than going through a dating service. Perhaps we should have talked on the phone other than to set up this date or maybe even communicated through email. IF we had done either of those things, perhaps this first date wouldn’t have been so brutal or perhaps I would have found out he was still wrapped in Jennifer.

Needless to say our mutual acquaintance has already called to get the scoop. I let her call go to voicemail. What do I say? I can’t say, “I wanted to shove an ice pick in my ears” or “he has a personality like a box of rocks,” but I can’t say, “it was nice” or “I had fun” either. Hopefully, I can dodge that question by talking about something else or maybe if I’m lucky he told her that he didn’t have a good time.

I do hope with every ounce of my being that he doesn’t call. The sooner I forget about it the better, but I’ll never forget Jennifer. We will never forget Jennifer.

Speak your peace . . .

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