Really? Not girly enough for us. . .

Just out of curiosity, if you, as a parent or legal guardian, received a letter from your child’s school saying they are not feminine enough how would you react? Would you encourage her to do what makes her happy or that it’s best to go along with society.?

I’m asking because a local girl was sent home with a letter from her private Christian school stating that she should dress and act more like a girl. As a self professed tomboy, I take issue with this. This 8 year old girl who likes to wear her hair short, t-shirts and sneakers and enjoys collecting baseball cards and coins is told she is not feminine enough. The school also stated that she is a disruption because the other kids don’t know if she’s a boy or a girl. If I remember correctly when I was 8 years old, I could care less if you were a boy or a girl.

The letter in part states the following:

You’re probably aware that Christian School is a religious, Bible believing institution providing education in a distinctly Christian environment … We believe that unless Sunnie as well as her family clearly understand that God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity, that TCS is not the best place for her future education.

At 8 I knew I was a girl, liked being a girl, but I wanted to play with cars and trucks, play football, climb the ropes, and such. I’ll never forget the day one of my day care teachers told me that little girls don’t roll down hills. And, I flat out told her, “but I do because it’s fun” and proceeded up the hill and roll down again. Yep, I was a smart ass even then. I also prefered to wear jeans and sneakers.

As a Chrisitan, I find some of the biggest hypocrites to be Christian. Who shuns an 8 year old just because she doesn’t follow traditional gender roles? Lord knows I didn’t and still don’t. Give me a baseball hat, jeans and t-shirt and you just made a friend. Put a hammer in my hand or put me in front of a heavy weight bag and I’m happy as a lark. Give me a doll and I’ll snap it’s head off (when I was little I had a box of dolls heads), but give me some match box cars and trucks and you won’t hear from me for hours. Put me in a frilly dress and you better run for your life. Don’t get me wrong, I do like to show my feminine side. And yes, I love a good properly styled short hair cut.

I’m sure there’s more to the story, but until then . . .

You are 44% girly!

Playing with cars is always more fun than barbies, as long as you do it while looking good in those new shoes!
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7 thoughts on “Really? Not girly enough for us. . .

  1. I’m so appalled by this situation. It speaks volumes about what we still think defines men and women, boys and girls, and how we feel we need to enforce that as children grow up. It’s sad.


    • Diana, it is truly sad. At that age we, adults, shouldn’t be pushing gender roles on them. Their confused enough as it is. Navigating life at that age is filled with questions and self-discovery. It’s a scary time.


      • Yes. It’s sad for adults to let things like hair cut dictate how boyish or girlish they believe someone to be…Or that it actually matters how girlish or boyish someone is.


  2. Hmmm.. I wonder what their stance is on Joan of Arc? “Well Joan, it’s really nice God called you to champion our faith, but you really need to get off the horsey and in the skirt now.” I mean, doesnt God (and school administratiors for that matter) have something better to do than worry about the fact I’m wearing pants? Way to go Sunnie! Wear your pants, and find a school where they teach Christian love!


    • Oh dear they probably would have exiled the poor girl. Right now Sunnie has been taken out of that school and put in public school, which is really ashame. God said, “come as you are.” He didn’t and doesn’t care if you’re a girl and you wear jeans and sneakers. He just wants your praise. At least that’s what my pastor says.


  3. 43% girly for me! I think kids should be allowed to be kids. However, I would have read the dress code, etc. for the private religious school before enrolling my child in it…just as I fully read all the clauses in a potential contract for a religious school teacher before deciding whether or not to apply for a job there.


    • Kids should be kids and not have to worry about this traditional gender roles. If they want to do that than fine so be it. And I definitely agree with you, check them out before you enroll. From another article I just read about it, Sunnie had been going to the school for several years and she cut her long hair off to donate to cancer patients. So, it seems that she may be a bit more compassionate than her school is being to her.


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